After 7 years and 8 months of marriage, it will be coming to an end in about 1 more month. According to my wife, it was completely over back in February; but will not be over till the judge signs the papers next month. Speaking of the divorce papers, we have agreed on everything and have each signed the papers at the lawyers office. I wanted to fight for more time with the kids, but realized that the only thing that would accomplish would be to make us both spend more money on lawyers. I most likely wouldn’t have gotten any more time than what she proposed and any lawyer she got would probably convinced her to get more money out of me. As far as divorces go, I suppose I’m lucky in that I won’t be paying any weekly child support or alimony.
My son asked me tonight why I was still wearing my wedding ring. My answer was that I was still married and would wear it on that finger till I wasn’t married any more. At this point, I don’t know that I’ll be ready to take it off even when the divorce is final. I’m considering wearing it on my right hand till I’m ready to remove it. I know that at this point I should move on and just remove it, but that infinity symbol on it still means forever to me. I may get over her at some point and allow myself to move on, but I am just not there yet and don’t know when I will be. I’ve had a few people tell me that I need to see a counselor, Brandy included. I did for a little while, but the person I was talking to wanted to focus on ways to “save” the marriage, which is exactly what I wanted to hear. Once Brandy convinced me that even if I changed everything about me and my life in a manner that would make her happier, the marriage was still over; I stopped speaking to the counselor. No point in talking about ways to save the marriage when the other person has no ambition to do so and is probably dating someone else already.